How the hell do they get this inordinate ability to screw with our hearts and minds till there is nothing left for us to call our own and still we give them more.. give them all we have got.. through the mistakes the blemishes the misery through it all it doesnt matte.. speak to them honestly and it get exaggerated… lie to them and they say its not fair… tell them everything off the top of your head and its too harsh.. tell them after pondering over it for a while they say they want the bloody undiluted truth…and despite this all we end up loving them more still.. they never seem to understand that we have fears too.. that they will have accept us for who we are fears and all…can’t keep fighting with them… cant even harbor the thought of leaving them because that would rip our very being in to two… that we are dependant on them not for the little things that one could do even with a little effort from our side but for the ones which expose a more sensitive persona of ours.. one that is scared and terrified like a baby who hides behind the hem of her mothers dress except that they are our safety net now.. the ones we come hope to when we need a hug our a sweet touch down our back… and then when they tell us that they think we dont care or are not concerned it hurts and they really dont realise how much it does… and we are not looking for an apology because they said so or even sympathy for our pain but what we do want what we do –dare i say it- need is to know how exactly we went wrong where exactly we screwed up so royally that we became victims of such statements in the first so that if nothing more we become better boyfriends/husbands/boytoys or what have u to these women… and that is kind of what sucks man… we just dont get recognised because we are just supposed to be the tough ones the ones with the rough exterior which everyone sees all the time but as an oversight and this i feel is due to public perception at large is that our sensitive side doesnt get seen in fights we will always be the bad guy who said this or did that or just didnt understand where –n i am not excusing the jerks who really act like idiots of whom i might be one- the genuine mistake might just have been that he didnt quite get it or it didnt hit him or he just couldnt perform to your expectations.. god ppl give it a rest give him a chance to make mistakes to repent to agonize over the hurt he caused but atleast have the decency to give him that muxh and the reason to feel all this and not wander around in the fields of despair like a blind man walking around a field of broken glass hurting himself at everyturn with every step causing more harm than he could possibly deserve and let him back into your hearts because i think that is just what needs to be done unless of course you want him out of your lives forever in which case i would say just kick the poor dog to the curb don’t let him suffer so….
well that was because of the ongoing slight differences with my girlfriend as i am sure any one who has stumbled across this little blog has probably inferred but i think i speak for a lot of guys with the above paragraph…. moving on to other spheres of my life… well exams as i had said earlier it self have been a complete and utter bitch with each one going worse than the first.. lets hope tomorrows subjects make a little more sense to me.. but ah well im sure they will…
also since it is best 2 out of 3 let me just say that i have already started work on the next one so that the work load doesn’t pile up for me in an uncomfortable way.. CAT prep will also start being done seriously from hence forth and now with my hunger for blogging back in full swing and me having finally decided to take over from the laziness monster you guys should be able to follow pretty closely my progress in my various goals which i put out…. lets hope i make some head way at least if not achieve them…
chiao for now… see u in an edit or maybe the next blog post…
:D
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